Celebrating our 23rd Wedding Anniversary – we deserve a medal!

This weekend just gone was spent celebrating our Wedding Anniversary – 23 years!!!  I know that is a long long time – I was a young bride honest.

 

You would think after being married for 23 years but together for about 30 (child sweet hearts) I should be able to impart some wisdom for the masses……not really but I do have some random musings from my experience.

Anniversary #1  Never try to start a meaningful discussion late at night

It just doesn’t work.  Meaningful discussions when tired nearly always turn into an argument, not sure if its the tiredness or what, but 99% of such discussions normally would end up in one of us storming off to sleep downstairs (only to sneak back up an hour or so later as its too cold/noisy/lonely downstairs!)

Anniversary #2  Don’t let the kids make you fall out

Our kids have an amazing knack of deflecting any trouble they are in on to one of us.  Not sure how they do it, one minute they are being told off for an untidy room or not getting ready for school and the next minute Eddie and I are arguing with each other and most of the time don’t know how we actually got there.  Think I normally take pity on them or try to tackle things differently, and that normally becomes a full scale argument!

Anniversary #3 Don’t Compare relationships with Mr & Mrs Facebook

I can go down my feed/timeline and see all these gushing PDA’s (public displays of affection), oh look at my wonderful husband, he has bought me this or that.  He is so supportive, I love my gorgeous husband etc etc.  Why tell the world – tell him/her. I am not sure I even believe they are really happy as I have known people do that and the next day split up!  All it does is inevitably make you feel as though your relationship is lacking.  Tell your husband or wife you love them, wish them happy birthday – you don’t need to tell the world!!

Anniversary #4 Don’t be ungrateful – as long as they try their best!

A few years ago I opened my anniversary gift and couldn’t quite work out what it was.  I mean I knew it was a charm for my nominations bracelet (which I love by the way), but I couldn’t quite fathom what was on the charm.  Eddie used to always buy me a charm that was relevant for me, us or that time.  So I have a pink stork for when I had Chloe and a blue one for Tom.  I had a blue and white football, as I am an Everton FC fan (for my sins) you get the gist.  But this time I just couldn’t work out why on earth would he buy me a charm with a pink bikini on.  Its not like Eddie has ever seen me wear a bikini – I think I last wore one at about 5 years of age!  Apparently though he thought this was a heart of some kind – lol

Suppose I shouldn’t moan – one year I got saucepans!!

Anniversary #5 Its OK to argue

I don’t think I could ever completely agree with someone for 30 years – its inevitable that at some point you will disagree.  I used to always think arguments were bad, but now I know its just a part of my relationship – its what we do.  Sometimes it is being honest and not just agreeing with whatever they say.  Sometimes it frustration with situations (lack of money) etc.

Anniversary #6 Try to not be jealous

I am an extremely insecure person and have struggled with this one.  I try not to be a jealous type, but sometimes it gets the better of me.  Ultimately, I know its pointless.  If you are jealous and insecure it just makes the other person feel untrusted which then leads to resentment.  Also if they do decide to have fun with someone else, there really is nothing you can do.  You either make it work or move on.  Either way jealousy is pointless.

Anniversary #7 Laugh together

There is nothing I like more than watching a good comedy or finding something to laugh at.  Laughter really is the best medicine and next to “sexy time” is probably one of the best things you can do together to have a strong relationship.

Anniversary #8 Get a Dog

Since getting Luna, we automatically spend good quality time together when out walking her in the evening.  Its relaxing and you get to chat.  Its also really cute seeing your other half interacting and having a lovely relationship with a pet.  I truly think its made us closer and stronger!

Anniversary #9 Don’t listen to Rom Coms

I am more of an action film girl, I do like a couple of romantic films – Love Actually being one.  But I see them as total fiction – I don’t think they are a real healthy reflection of a relationship for most people!

See not really expert advice, more what works for us!

Going back a bit further……

Eddie and I got engaged at a young age of about 18, the actual proposal was very unromantic.  We bought the ring together at Elizabeth Duke in Argos – they actually undercharged us, but I think my ring was about £50 – cheap date eh?!?  I don’t remember being too traditional and asking my dad for my hand, but I think there was a conversation.  On the actual day we went out in my banger of a Vauxhall Cavalier which was a poo brown colour.  Eddie turned to me and said “I don’t know if we are doing the right thing or not, but here you go…..” and with that he stuck the ring on my finger.

I am not an old romantic and its a good job really – I mean wtf!!  Anyway he was worrying about nothing, as even if we decided to split, we have managed 23 years of marriage!

We have had our shares of ups and downs, and definitely our fair share of bad luck, but I still think he is my best friend and even if I sometimes think I would be better on my own, there is no one I would rather share my life with.

PS I got some lovely flowers delivered and another charm which I love.  Here are some pics of pressies and our meal out without the kids!